The Path From Hate

“Ignorance leads to fear, fear leads to hatred, and hatred leads to violence. This is the equation.”

― Ibn Rushd, Averroes: Antologia

I hadn’t planned on writing today. In fact, I have a mile-and-a-half long to-do list of social media posts and permits for an upcoming event, and I have 10 hungry motorcyclists to feed this morning. It is no doubt a busy morning. But, this cannot wait.

Every morning I get an email of the various pieces written by the Medium authors I follow. As I’m gearing up for my London Writer’s Hour (really an hour I don’t always use for writing, more like my one hour a day of some kind of focus), I read “My Neighbor Yelled at Me, and It Was Eye-Opening” by Carolyn Light. A random exchange between two people turned into an angry exchange that left neither feeling better.

The tagline of the article is, “As a collective society, we are so stressed out,” but is that really the case? Can we chalk it up to stress? I think stress is an accelerant, but it is not the match.

France

I recently returned from a month in France and Germany. I traveled with the Tour de France, covering media for African cycling. Granted, it was the Tour de France where instead of kvetching about all-day road closures, the French find a primo spot on the route, open up a table, bring out the wine, cheese, and meat, feast, and celebrate. They enjoy the race, their time with their neighbors, and thousands of tourists, and are welcoming even to many of us, horribly butchering their language to order a pain chocolate. I kept thinking about how this scene in America would play out. Tell Americans the road is closed for a day. They would go to the City/County Commission and scream obscenities in a planning meeting (note recent school board meetings on masks and CRT (which isn’t taught in school, btw)). You’d probably get a few middle fingers from people trying to use the road. Angry citizens engage with police officers tasked with ensuring the safety of cyclists. Let’s be honest; it would devolve into chaos. That is why the US no longer has multi-week, much less multi-day cycling events.

Why is that?

Wyoming

Sadly, I live on a ranch in Wyoming, a very angry, gun-toting, misinformation-believing scarlet red state. A recent Airbnb guest said to me, “You’re really not like most people in this state, are you?” I am the pixie dust sprinkling unicorn in my valley. I have a rainbow striped “All Welcome” sign proudly displayed. I don’t own a gun. I don’t shoot things for fun. And I am deeply concerned about the state of our world.

Then…I am given hope. Hosting four Airbnb properties on my ranch has exposed me to a vast range of international and mostly domestic guests. As someone who lived abroad for almost a decade, I miss the diversity of people, thought, and experience.

The Horse Whisperer

Recently, we hosted a man who was a horse transporter. He arrived with two of the most magnificent horses I’ve ever laid eyes on. They were stunning — and feisty! We have a small corral, and he backed his truck and trailer right up to the corral. I watched him unload the horses and then quietly lean on the fence with his little Schipperke at his feet, talking to the magnificent beasts. He exuded calm. I felt it the minute I walked over to the corral. He had a presence — a calm, peaceful, almost spiritual presence — with animals and people. Think horse whisperer Robert Redford.

I learned his family had been in the horse business for generations. His grandfather trained horses for the cavalry in World War II (or great grandfather in WWI?). Needless to say, his spiritual connection with horses was multi-generational. At the end of the conversation, not quite sure how we got there, we talked about hate in the world. This is constantly shifting sand — hatred for one group of people or party over another — this is a mind field of disappointment and potentially lost friendships. Because that is where we are in America.

Politics never came up. I could make assumptions, but I won’t. He pointedly said, “I don’t know why there’s such anger and hate in the world.” I agreed. Why is there? I don’t remember it being this way, either. Is it the amplification of social media? Was it like this when I was younger, and I was too self-absorbed or unaware to notice? Today I read about this 24-year-old man who was angry with his mother and plowed his car into a crowd of people at a fundraiser, killing one and injuring many. He then returned home and bludgeoned his mother to death. How do we, as a society, even address this level of anger and hate?

The Hate Whisperers

The feeling of peace, calm, and hope I felt with the horse whisperer quickly evaporated into a sense of high alert with another group that arrived later in the day after the horse whisperer left. It wasn’t anything specific with this group, but there was an edge. An edge of if you said something they didn’t agree with, you were in the line of fire. I don’t have to make assumptions about where they stood on the political spectrum. They used the word “snowflake” so often that I began to wonder if winter was around the corner. All wealthy, privileged, white men with that chip on their shoulder that everyone is out to take from them. It was palpable. I walked into our house and told my husband there was something there. I’m on edge. He agreed. They treated me like hired help. Once they found out my husband knew wealthy people and had connections, he was in the group. The whole experience was very transactional, surface, patriarchal, and uncomfortable.

The atmosphere was a 180 from the horse whisperer, and it reminded me of where we stand as a people. Reality is found in the latter as opposed to the former. Those of us who live in truth and peace, try desperately to radiate goodness, inclusion, and love, are highly in tune with people who live elsewhere.

Hope for the Future

Then the pendulum swings and new guests come who embody that spirit, and there is hope. I believe our ranch is a microcosm of today’s world. Many more good, honest, truth-seeking people looking for a sanctuary from the world of bullying, aggression, falsehoods, and conspiracy. They are just the quiet ones, though. They are the goodness whisperers.

Today I venture into town to vote. The Wyoming Republican primary vote. Today I vote for truth, for our democracy, and for our right to live peacefully in our world and our country. Sadly, I fear my vote will not matter today. Hate, lies, and conspiracy currently rule. All I can do is keep the spotlight shining and keep whispering love.

Dave, a friend of mine started these almost daily posts on Facebook called the #dailyshoutout. “So I’m going to start a new thing… a thing to simply spread positivity; a thing to say something good about someone I see DOING something good… it’s gonna be my #dailyshoutout…” I love this and it is a way to keep the light shining on the good people and the good they do and making them feel seen. There are days us “do-gooders” don’t feel so “good” because it is not easy spreading light when your light needs a recharge. The #dailyshoutout was my recharge.

Spread the light…